Relationship & Love

How do you show appreciation?

Showing appreciation is an essential part of a relationship. So much so that the lack of appreciation can lead to insecurities, conflicts, and eventually fall out. This can happen regardless if it’s between family members, friends, colleagues, or an intimate partner.

Appreciation, similar to love and sex, seems like an area we’re supposed to naturally know, understand, and have an expert degree in. Showing appreciation can be difficult when words aren’t enough and the other person receives the message differently. I personally have a hard time showing appreciation to those around me. For some, giving my time and expressing gratitude for their influence in my life satisfies the relationship. While for others, I’m simply awful at showing it. Reasons include: our relationship dynamic may be different, compared to my more successful relationship, they require something I cannot quite give or don’t know how to give, or I simply have no idea what I need to do to show them I respect and care about them.

You may say, “Melissa, you can always ask how they would like to be appreciated!” True, but similar to love, it’s one of those things if you have to tell someone how to do it, it ruins the magic and questions the genuineness. Then there’s the 5 Love Language: 1) words of affirmation, 2) receiving gifts, 3) quality time 4) acts of service or devotion and 5) physical touch, however, some people are more complex than that. Also, it may not be the best idea to apply to certain relationships… For some dynamics, you really shouldn’t often touch them, buy gifts, or give compliment too much to avoid sending the wrong message.

We all share appreciation differently. As we are a community blog platform, I need your help with this!

What are some of the ways you show appreciation to those around you? Please comment below with your methods! Feel free to include what works and what didn’t.

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  1. I’ve always had this heightened desire to make sure that people know how much I appreciate them. Whether it’s one of my mentors taking my call to allow me to pick their brain or someone referring me a client, the thought of someone thinking that I take their time and kindness for granted sickens me. One of the things I do to avoid this feeling is that I send handwritten “Thank You” cards to show my appreciation. Occasionally, I send a bottle of wine/whiskey. And, frankly, there are times that I randomly call my friends to tell them they have been on my mind. It’s my way of showing someone that I appreciate their friendship.

  2. Different people speak different languages when it comes to appreciation. For some, verbal affirmation is enough. Others require you to recognize and utilize their talent/work as appreciation. Learning to speak their language is more important than simply desiring to appreciate. When you take the time to learn about someone and learn how to appreciate them – you now have the key to that person’s heart (or so to speak). Otherwise it’s a game of luck.

  3. Appreciation is so important. I show my appreciation in different ways to different people. With my husband I will buy him treats and will verbally tell him. I make sure that I vocalize it to my mom. A co-worker I have will get little notes.

  4. Thanks Rob for sharing these tips! Personalized cards and gifts are much appreciated, especially since they’re given less now than before. If you come up with any more, please do share it our way!

  5. Absolutely agree! Learning their love language is very important. What are some tips you have for learning someone’s love language without asking them? >.<

  6. I struggle with this. I like to talk face to face with people to show my appreciation, but the world we live in is all about social media. I feel like its impossible for me to say and express how thankful I truly am over the internet. I like to make real in person relationships. But it is so hard. When I am able I always try to return the favor, if someone helps me, I offer to do a similar act of kindness back to them, and tell them how their action helped me and how thankful I am. I feel like appreciation should be in person. I feel like it makes a much longer lasting impression that way.

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