It’s been difficult as of late to escape hate and toxicity. It feels like everyone is fighting each other – trying to one up one other or prove the other person wrong.
…what are we even fighting for?
Is there ‘winner’ here when all is said and done? Is there some kind of prize we’re all after? How do we expect to feel victorious when our relationships are shredded to pieces and we said something we can never take back?
Instinctually, I would love for all of us to stop fighting. In a simple world, I would cast my judgement and demand everyone to focus on how to love each other and work together. Unfortunately, the world we live in is far from simple, so I’m not going to do that today.
I get it, in one way shape or form, we all feel the need to fight. Whether it’s to stand up for what we believe in, defend ourselves, or we see fighting as a way of life, we all have our own reasons. That said, if you’re going to fight, fight for what’s right.
Fight not just for you but for your community. Fight to share your truth and stand up for those who cannot fight for themselves. Fight so that others can have the same opportunities that you do. And if you’re going to fight, be smart about it. Don’t fight just to prove you’re right. Fight to learn, to understand and to be understood. Fight for what you wholeheartedly believe in because it’s not worth it otherwise.
Something to keep in mind – When you’re about to respond to someone who’s picking a fight or replying to something that really hit that soft spot, please remember everyone is fighting a battle (of several, if we’re really going to be honest). It’s not fair for us to judge and cast our verdict based on our limited perception of them. We don’t know what their experiences are. All we have are snippets in skewed moments.
It’s hard when you’re caught up and all you want to do is tell them off, say something that will prove them wrong, incompetent or unworthy. Maybe you could try a different approach. What if next time you’re in that moment, you try offering patience, understanding, and a desire to learn about them. What if, we took a mini break before we reply, respond with a little bit of kindness first and see if that helps diffuse the situation.
It surprisingly worked a lot better than I thought the last few times I tried it. Of course, it’s less awkward to take that mini break over text or Slack, than in person. Nonetheless, I’m sure your conversation partner would appreciate that you took a little more time crafting a proper response than a careless one. I hope you’ll consider it and give it a try.
Inspired by my work husband and the lesson he taught me in battle 😛
Have you tried this method? Doesn’t it suck to hold your tongue and try to listen first before responding? I have a bad habit of cutting people off so it’s definitely something I’m still working on.
If you did try this method, how did it work for you? Please share in the comments below! Would love to hear your thoughts.
Lesson Learned: Being my mother’s daughter, I constantly find myself fighting for prove that I’m right. It’s not healthy and never as satisfying as I believe it would be. I’ve been blessed with someone who’s teaching me the importance of understanding, rather than putting others down to make me right. No one likes a smarty pants so it’s time I donate my pair and move on.