As a coach, I like to look at a snapshot of my client’s life when we start working together. Creating a life filled with balance and high levels of satisfaction can feel elusive when they’ve lost their focus. The Wheel of Life is a simple tool that allows them to rate eight categories in their life from 1 to 10. This visual snapshot shows how happy they are in each area of their life.
The goal isn’t to bring perfect symmetry to the graph, but to bring awareness to what is working and what isn’t working in their personal and professional lives. It’s not uncommon to feel higher levels of satisfaction in areas that we devote a lot of energy to and less satisfaction in areas with a less concentrated focus. These results will change over time and it’s a good idea to reassess results annually.
Patterns usually show up that affect multiple areas of our lives, for instance, “money” and “career” can be closely related as can “love & romance” and “friends & family”. This tool can provide clues that reveal areas where we have self-sabotaging self-talk and behaviors. Once we identify the issue, we can formulate a plan for reprogramming our brains to create our best life.
Living our best life means we show up for ourselves, ask for what we need and don’t feel guilty about it.
It also means we feel empowered to communicate effectively and create healthy boundaries that produce an environment for us to love ourselves more deeply, treat ourselves with compassion, and have space for a sustainable self-care routine.
You may be wondering how you can feel empowered in every aspect of your life. Check out these simple ideas…
Exercise is more than just being in great shape. Releasing endorphins make you feel more positive mentally. Starting the day with a sweaty workout is a great way to get moving and release stress and negativity. Accomplishing a goal first thing in the morning builds momentum for the rest of your day. If working out at the gym isn’t your thing, no worries, find an activity that you enjoy like hiking, dancing or aerobics to really get your heart pumping.
Show Up for Yourself
If you have been a wallflower and refrained from being seen in meetings; voice your opinion. When you hear people gossiping about you; confront the gossiper. If a co-worker dumps their work on you before they leave for vacation; speak up. You have to train people how you want to be treated. It will be scary at first, but the more you do it, the more confident you will feel.
If you’re single, don’t date people that don’t live up to your standards. If you’re married and your spouse lets you do all of the housework; set new rules. If you need time in your day to unwind; create an end of day ritual that gives you space to regroup. Learn to say “NO” to people, communicate that you are unable to help this time, but with notice next time you’d love to help out.
Take Self-defense Classes
Are you worried about walking to your car in a dark parking lot? Take measures to protect yourself from unwanted attention seekers. It’s fun and it’s great exercise. And, in the event of danger, you’ll feel empowered to protect yourself.
Learn a New Skill
Mastering new skills build confidence. Have you been wanting to up your game in the kitchen? Take a cooking class. Do you want to learn how to dance? Take dance lessons. Pick up a new hobby that causes you to get out of your comfort zone and invest in yourself.
Practice Self-Love and Self-Compassion
Create a daily mantra that reminds you how special you are. Focus on the things that make you one-of-a-kind. Love your body for what it does for you. Show gratitude for your health. Be kind to yourself when you make a mistake. Look at failure as a step towards success.
Create a Sustainable Self-Care Routine
Pamper yourself daily. Burn candles. Use luxurious lotions and perfumes. Adorn yourself with things that make you feel beautiful inside and out. Schedule time to journal and read. Do things that feed your soul.
Create a Vision Board
Keep your goals front and center. Use beautiful pictures to illustrate the home you want to buy, the vacation you want to take, the family you want to build. Whatever dreams you are working towards should be visible. Where your mind goes, your energy flows!
Improve your Self-Talk
We all have that internal gremlin that likes to remind us of our shortcomings. You know that voice that let you know your butt looks big in those jeans. Start to recognize the negative voice and call out the lies it is speaking to you. Replace negative thoughts with positive empowering thoughts and reduce self-sabotaging behaviors
And finally, but most importantly, start a love affair with yourself!
Creating empowerment in all aspects of your life means you need to know yourself inside and out. You need to fully comprehend all of the thing things that make you happy, make you sad, bring you pleasure and make you feel satisfied. If you don’t know all of those things and everything in between, you’ll never be able to create your BEST life.
The better you know yourself the more effectively you can teach others how you want to be treated, loved and respected. This relationship is the hub for every other relationship in your life. How worthy you feel impacts:
- If you will be successful (however you define it)
- If you will accumulate wealth
- If you will allow abuse in our relationships
- If you can experience physical and emotional intimacy
The list goes on and on. Our basic beliefs drive our actions. Our brain is set up to help us create the outcome we believe we deserve. If we believe we are unworthy to be loved, we will self-sabotage and ruin every relationship we start. If we believe our friends and family will abandon us if we accumulate wealth, we will limit our level of success. If we believe we are ugly, we will do everything we can to be invisible and not get our needs met.
Our most basic human need is to be known and to know others. We all want to know that we matter. We want to know that we bring value into the world. That need can’t fully be met without knowing ourselves on a deep level.
Do you have shame in your story? I did too! I have learned to embrace the shame and recognize the gift those experiences brought to my life. When we name our shame and bring it out into the light, we are greeted with compassion. Shame can’t survive in the presence of compassion.
It’s never too late to change your story. It’s never too late to create a happy ending. It’s never too late to create your BEST life. It all starts with YOU!
Anza Goodbar is a personal development coach who focuses on self-love. She believes that self-love is at the core of business and personal success. Her philosophy asserts that there is a direct correlation between practicing genuine self-love and leading a wildly happy life based on abundance principles versus living a mediocre life based on scarcity. Read more about Anza’s work and book a complimentary self-love breakthrough call and get your life back on track.
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